How do you feel about snakes? would you boop?

i usually avoid contact with snakes so probably not

and do you like their little tongue bleps

it is intriguing

-mack lmfao

My name

i think about this one a lot

how often and in what contexts does competition occur?

every day all of the time

why does yours website lag my computer do i ne

i am sorry. i tried to write the shader on the homepage as optimal as possible but it must not be. if this page is lagging that is because there is simply a lot of content.

how do you spel food


Am I cool?


As a long-time Windows user, I've actually never used Linux. How is it for you?

i use mac nowadays and it's the best desktop os i've used in my life.

linux is great if you're a tinkerer, and willing to always tinker on stuff. it reminds me of car people like my dad; if their car had an issue the first thing they'd do is open it up. and then unlike me and others, would probably know what the hell they're doing.

and i could do that with linux, but sometimes you just want to make an album and sometimes its worth paying for an unrepairable-and-locked-down-as-fuck MacBook, vs the DIY nature of linux.

again not to say linux is bad, i think its more stable and usable than Windows, but that is once you get it setup. linux is harder to setup and maintain almost always, but i imagine if i touched updates less often i would've had less problems anyways.

in your opinion, what's the hardest job in the world?


where has the internet gone


प्रुथ्वी ओर सुरज की दुरी कितनी है

i don't remember

why can't we see air?

i dont know what you're talking about

are you planning to stream on twitch?


spell red

i don't remember how

why do you like ar?

it's just magical.

if your keyboard was made out of chocolate would you resist

chocolate keyboards dont exist because i already ate them. there is nothing to resist.

are you a game breaker?

more often, i think about if the game can break me.

what font do you use?

recursive except for stupid and dumb places you cannot change the font on.

if you could do it all over again, how would you do it differently?

i'd probably go more into the music side of things. learn piano. i would probably do it 15 times all over again that way. but i think its okay how it turned out this time.

What is Chad Caruso to you?

i don't know. sorry.

whats your opinion on the fnaf movie?

enjoyable. i wish it was scarier.

What is your full opinion on "history of the entire world, i guess"

it was like 11pm and i was curious what this "sun is a deadly lazer" snippet i was sent was about and then by 4am i had watched at least 50 of bill's videos. i didn't realize art could be so expressive.

What is the distance between Sun and earth

it depends on the time of year. when people say it's a "new day", they are referring to this distance measurement, not the contents of the day.

Do you experience the Tetris effect a lot

yes but for a billion different iterations of two fictional characters interacting.

in what genre do you consider your work to be?

honestly don't remember the list of genres, sorry.

he sees you when you're sleeping.

he knows when you're awake.

apple watch

Is Bun windows stable yet!!!

not yet

where's the lyrics page?!!

the idea is i would embed them into the songs page so you could play the song and read the lyrics alongside. kinda like what apple music does.

never really got around to that, been busy on the album. havent even published the new site layout.

why paperdave?

a cat said so

what do you think about vanilla-flavored ice cream?

prefer regular vanilla if i'm going for the flavor alone but otherwise i love it.


you forgot to ask the question

Have you ever read "The Skibidi" by Dr. Suess?

never heard of it

who are you

still figuring that part out.

where is smooth.mp4? the old link 404'd!

sorry i've been really bad with my file hosting. one day i will have a page with all those old test files. and also combined with a bunch of new test files. here is one of the new files

Mother once said it's unhealthy to turn off your lights while the computer screen is at max brightness.

i can confirm this happened. mother did say this. i was there.

i'm hanging onto the other side

the other side is hanging on to you too

a question

this is not a question

should i use windows xp in 2023?


Who invented car

my dad. mr car uso

do you ever use your "sentence enhancers?"

let me check

what is your process for creative writing from idea to end result?

still figuring it out, but i usually think about the idea of doing something specific, for months and months, and then eventually have the courage to give it a try and then i write it out, then i revise, then i turn it into audiovisual media.

for the album, which isnt neccecarily creative writing but it also totally is, i've been giving myself a set of steps to follow and i've been stricter than i usually have been about following the list of steps to the letter.

do you enjoy school

i don't go to school so i wouldn't know

Why can't I just muster up the courage to tell them they have the wrong number?

maybe you're not certain if you're right or not. double check the numbers, use a calculator if youre not sure.

should I make some really cool rules and stick to them in life or should i go freestyle

you should have a really pleasant mix of both

how old is your arm

let me check, probably 19 years ish

will there ever be a light mode on this page?

no but there are plenty of other light mode pages to enjoy

how would you teach a baby to write "hello world" in python?

with real snakes

when you focus on something, say, visually, do you focus on its color, its size, its shape, etc. (and can focus on anything) or do you focus on the mental concept of that thing (and can't focus on it if you don't have an idea of what it is/know what you're looking for)?

i focus on the feeling it invokes, or the symbolism of the thing, less of what the reality of it actually is. it's more comfortable that way in my opinion.

is any/every action that is undertaken with the intent of making yourself more likable a fundamentally manipulative action?

if that were true, would any action taken to make yourself more hated (such as: kwebbelkop) have the opposite effect? i don't think so. it really depends more on the context of the changes you make to yourself, and what your secret motives behind them are.

some people change themselves to be more likable because they want to like themselves more.

why did the duck cross the road?

ask the road (Representative of All Ducks) for an answer

is it dishonorable to resist an inevitable outcome?


How are you dear

i'm okay

this website smells like updog (say what's updog)

im unfamiliar with what an up dog smells like

Paper Dave: The Thousand-Year Door

what about it?

favourite video game(s)?

platformers like celeste and new super mario bros wii

found this site via color discord bot. anyways, does a set of all sets not containing itself contain itself?

it contains half of itself, on average.

do you have any advices for someone who's unwillingly walking a path way different than the path they actually want (they have to(

sometimes some paths are physically impossible to cross. just remember that it's usually possible to walk in both directions, and hopefully at some point you can revisit the more interesting path.

also, check for fog. sometimes you'll find the unappealing path actually leads to something interesting, but you just cant see it yet.

what is your random name?

dave caruso

you remind me of that one kid in fourth grade who really liked the Denver Broncos

whats a denver bronco

how was your evening

i'm really really tired

best kind of chocolate?

my opinion on this subject changes often but i really enjoyed the chocolate bars may got me some time ago.

what if i arranged words in concentric circles to be read from the center out, except i left a lot of empty space?

i did that once i think. it was very effective. try a variation where you're actually behind the circle and everything looks backwards.

thoughts on iOS jailbreaking?

i wish it was still possible but ios nowadays can do much more. well, i haven't used it in a while but next week i get to try it out again.

how many faces can you think of in your mind at the same time?


Remember Papa Verde and his delicious pizzas


how many feet does the universe expand?

all of them

are the answers generated by an AI?

as a real human, no the answers are not generated by ai but rather generated by a human. beep boop.

What do you hope for in life

free chocolate.

should i be worried that maybe the universe doesn't actually follow any natural principles and physical laws and that everything happens by random chance?

meh probably not

How many percentage of your day goes by looking at memes versus actually getting work done lol


Do you get enough sleep?

it depends but usually i do but sometimes i do really weird hours. yesterday and today i woke up at 8pm.

Are you single?

i think so

if you are, i'm single as well~

doesn't it feel so nice to be free in that way?

if you're not, then can I change that? <3

i love you but no thanks

she powers my high until i way???

let me ask her if this is true on her question's page.

so, how's the site redesign going?

i had to rollback everything because the q+a page did not let people type in the box for some reason.

otherwise i dont feel like porting over all the old pages. might make the site much more minimal. might make a blog.

how much wood could a woodchuck chuck?

let me ask the woodchuck on their questions page.

How would my girlfriend feel if I kissed her on the neck?

you should go to their questions page and ask that

thoughts on gpt (not chatgpt, but the original gpt (the one that works like predictive typing))?

it's quite interesting

Which one is your favorite? Huggy Wuggy, Seek, Scary Blue, or Zumbo Sauce?

i have never heard of any of these but i will go with seek

do you have any file backup strategies for your digital archive

physical local hard drive

and is its total size getting out of control

not really. i usually dont save uncompressed renders

Magic Conch Shell, can I have something to eat?

try asking doordash instead.

Why do apple computers heat up? Because Tim Cook hates his fans!

heh. it's actually because they dont put fans in half their machines.

ashi rdhoas as djoasjo joas as?

i'm not so sure about this one

Whatever it is, someone in the world is doing it. Or at least it used to be that way. What happened to make people stop seeing things as valuable in and of themselves?

i'm not 100% sure but i think is related, even just a little, to the new copy+paste technology culture that rose half a decade ago. also "content" culture.

True or false: In science, ideas are not proven or disproven, merely lent credence to or discredited.

True but paradoxically I could not actually prove this is the case, so False.

I love you

i love you too may

Opinions on artificial intelligence?

they're okay but i'm more interested in artificial intelligence's opinions on you.

Is mayonnaise an instrument? If not, what about horse radish?

anything can be an instrument if you have a good enough sampler. for example, a wifi router.

is it answers & questions, or questions & answers?

its a chicken and egg problem, both were first.

why doesn't the background of this page cover the entire screen on mobile, it shows a white tile on the right on portrait mode

probably the rules of the stupid web framework im using

I asked ChatGPT to predict the names of your following albums. How do you feel about this information? Here are the names if you're curious:


"I'm Sorry I Haven't Touched Base"

"mysterious song of summer"

this one is so close to a title of a SONG in the album.

"a year"


overall these were all pretty good but a human can write way better ones.

if you worked on a big video project that had animation, music and text, would you keep everything in one folder or put the animation in the Blender folder, the music in the music projects folder and the text in the text folder or sth, and then make shortcuts to those folders inside a main folder

In the past I had a videos folder and then a folder per video.

For the album I have: ~/Album/logic/<song name>.logicx. Logic is great because each file is basically a zip file of all song contents, samples, etc.

For the videos of the album, I'm not fully sure but i feel like it'll be ~/Album/<song name>/<scene number>/{program name}/file.ext

do you know the way?

this question is like the whole premise of the album.

Giving you a riddle: There are 2 fruits


that are digital and not edible, what are they?

oops, already eaten.

ever give names to your memories?

the memories actually name me.

I love you

i love you too. stay safe out there milo.

why did Elon cross the bird?

you should ask them on their question page.

Why did dave cross the road?

to get to the chicken

Why did the chicken climb Mt. Everest?

to achieve the world record.

if the hamburger was invented in hamburg, then what would it be called in different countries?

the beef sandwich

I am the gender bender, and I hate to render,

Stereotypes that society engenders,

Breaking free from boxes, I am a contender,

Embracing uniqueness, a beauty so tender.

(rate my rap from 1-10)

you forgot to attach the beat, but i think you're on the right track. 6

how to achieve world peace?

try to ask nicely but still be assertive. could also buy it.

your onion on crying?

of course

every word on this page is the name of your albums for the next 50 years

that is not true

have you ever come across an artwork content etc someone else has created thats very similar to something you already had in mind


which you thought was a completely original idea?

i think of these as like higher level concepts like "a spoken word moment within an otherwise music packed album" and when i think of these i almost always follow the thought with "i'm sure someone's done this before, but it's definetly not very common"

and if you did what was your reaction like

i'm always so glad to see it's possible.

me and a friend talk about this stuff alot when thinking about each others ideas and theres a word i feel like they use alot. like one day recently i was talking about one idea related to video publishing and they said:

Thats genius. Is there precedent for that?

you have voices in your head?

correct. one of my songs actually is partly about that (you recited one of the lines almost exactly)

your onion on paperdave

is too slow at producing hit albums

is this a question, or is this an answer?

it's both combined in one

How to learn english language

hear and speak words for a few years

how long have you been answering loaded questions?

my whole life. right at the start they asked what i wanted to be when i grew up but they didnt tell me any of the options, and kinda just thought i'd know.

have you ever made a maze

yes, it is called my hard drive.

follow up question do you think "maken" or at least "maden" would be a better choice for make's Past Participle Form. or just anything else but "made" actually now that i try them all out again made sounds fine anyway I'd still like to see what you think about that

should've been "maide"

where's the online million vbucks i have demanded for?

check under the doormat

What is this earth

it's a dangerous place.

If you press neutral on every question you get istp. Thoughts on personality tests?

They are fun but take it with a few dozen ounces of salt.

how do you host your website?

so i want to rebuild the entire thing AGAIN

right now it is a sveltekit app run on a digital ocean vps (i had issues with cloudflare workers caching and hanging)

every single thing is dynamically linked to a postgresql database. its a mess and i think this is a mistake since so much content is rarely updated and i think the real solution to scheduling content is not a database but just

sleep <seconds till release>; git push

im thinking of using astro in the future but the fact theres no client side routing is really not doing it for me. i started making my own set of tools for it that solves all those problems but its nowhere near usable.

the site is something i want to work on but ive had little time and motivation as my current life time is spent doing these things

  • writing code for bun
  • working on the album
  • being alive life stuff.

working on the site or framework is like, too much code for my life workflow right now. perhaps. maybe a spark of motivation will happen.

in the future it will most definetly be running on bun/oven's hosting service but that doesnt exist yet.


i want to take a note to describe how dynamic the question answer page really is. its the coolest part of the site and the only thing that really needs to be dynamic. each question is markdown code using a forked version of a markdown parser that lets me throw in message2023-08-05 21:07 which is just the text #230805210708 but it seems that code is now magically broken. wtf. why cant it just work.

this stuff breaking is the type of shit that makes me want to write it all over myself with just my code. but thats like weeks of work, especially if i want to keep the site as big as it is. there is a case to just make it a single


the cdn

Why Doesn't My Child Listen?

Maybe you weren't listening to your child.

what android phone brand do you prefer most?

i've only ever used Google Pixel as an android phone, but ive held the Samsung phone and it is very interesting from an outsider. but i think in a few months i'm just gonna buy an iphone. but at the same time i might keep my android phone because i really like the voice recorder app i use on that and i dont believe it exists on ios.

keurig dr pepper or national beverage?

liquid aluminum

Why is "why did the chicken cross the road" so funny to me?

i think you should think about how the chicken crossed the road. it's even funnier i promise.

What's yours name

michael jackson

coke or pepsi?

dr pepper

what are your grand literary ambitions?

to get something written at all for some of these bridges

i need help on my math homework

did you try "completing the square"

are you an intp?

i forgot what my personality test was but maybe you can take it for me by pressing "neutral" on every question

Macintosh Plus

idk i have the max one. or the pro? or both. i dont know. these words all basically mean the same thing to me when used as a suffix of a tech product.

Can you swim?

i can swim similarly to how the pyramids in egypt can be a movie theater. possible, but not intentional or a good idea.

what are your thoughts on the new metric prefixes, ronna-, quetta-, ronto-, and quecto-, added just last year?

i think they are very cool however i cannot find any use i will ever measure anything, real or virtual, with those prefixes.

for distance, i think "inch" or "cm" covers like every single one of my use cases, including within 3d software / virtual stuff. beyond that i'd just measure a distance in minutes that it'd take using the transit system.


that would be the number of songs in my upcoming album.

fun fact: dave has been a member for 15423 days

that is not true it's only been almost half that

how to ask a question?

too late

"Simply owing to one’s learning that a deed ought not to be done, there is no implication yet that one will refrain from it, and verily in the history of human actions there can be discovered many instances of unnecessary conduct begetting at times malign consequences, or otherwise violating some moral principle, undertaken by individuals of otherwise good temperament despite their better knowledge."

– me

you forgot to ask the question

thoughts on Speedy Eggbert?

i've never seen this before. it seems reasonable.

hi dave

goodmorning stacy.

thoughts on old relationships??

you could be referring to a lot of things but relationships that get old are usually really good and comfortable.

i know where i live

i sure hope you do

Are you bill wurst's long-lost cousin?

i have bad memory so that could've totally happened and i just forgot.

How's the progress on your album, like, in percent?

if we only count the writing phase, 72.5%

if we count the rest of it, i would have to estimate, idk. 20%

aiming for next year but it's really hard to know how long it'll actually take to make it. it might be 2025. but i'm okay spending as much time as it takes so long as i'm not getting trapped in perfectionism.

music videos too.

What's it like to live in your own apartment?

it feels extremely fresh but the place is still a mess as i wait for the rest of my IKEA furniture to ship.

but the general thing is there are bills, i have a job, but i get full control over my life.


Does it get lonely sometimes or are you good?

so this isnt unique to living in an apartment but for my situation i moved an extremely far distance (Detroit -> San Francisco) so that basically cuts off physical contact to the people i know and love.

Yes, it gets a little lonely because of that specifically. but the idea of living in a place on my own isn't a lonely feeling.

who are you

someone's long-lost cousin.

What themes do you commonly find yourself exploring in your writing and in your lyrics?

my upcoming album explores a lot of negative-but-im-confused-why feelings. also trying to figure out love. also hair.


oh i

got lost inside a paradise


it stopped at every station

but none felt like home


i wanna love someone, but i'm locked in despair

life moves so quickly, and i'm almost there


oh wow the toast is ready


it's a different but sweet and solemn sound

is this easy?

is what? because no matter what you're gonna ask the answer is no. nothing is easy.


this is not true


this is also not true. though i know your expectations were betrayed.

it's okay, i promise.

Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip?

because it was already on the other side

what does your site run on (ie: jeykll, wordpress, php)

sveltekit running on node.js on a blank linux vps

update name paint ):<

with what?

can i wage peace with weapons of mass construction?

you can try but construction usually gets in the way of people just trying to exist.

What is

it's funny.

why do animals talk?

to gossip about the humans

Is a hotdog a sandwhich ?


paperdave? more like paper dave

i understand

she is a my frand


I've never seen a QNA page like this

im not sure if this is a compliment or a question but thank you for your input.

Do you regret buying for 500$? Cuz im a rock star

it was worth every penny of it

which number is the unfunniest of all


What if I answer my own questions instead?

seems like you want a q+a page too. that would be interesting.

If you sleep with contact lenses, can you remember your dreams better?

no it just increases your clarity and awareness inside of the dream but you'll still forget it afterwards

why do i sometimes chant the words "among us" in a corner?

this isn't true

minimalism or maximalism?

why not both

what happened to the vault on your old website?

rather just publish everything without putting a maze behind it.

and all the meme content is just on my friend's site,

How does one escape the Wii Sports Bowling Alley?

home button

When will the search button be added?

before the album is done

How to make your body fat wavy?

use FastWave

Who is the first prim minister of India

you were

whT is your gfna.e

i dont speak that language

Are you a postmodernist?

i'll be honest i dont remember which modern that we're "post" of so i can't say yes or no but i'm sure i exist after at least one event that someone once considered "modern".

I am curious, what sorts of recent shenanigans and/or devious tomfoolery have you been up to?

moving across the country, my work, and messing with Logic Pro X

opinion on obama

was not old enough to remember what life was like during their presidency but they seem like a cool person.


i see what you mean

Are nostalgia and the pioneer spirit at war with each other over the soul of humanity?

i think they could just share to be honest.

What is Ernie's favorite number?


Did you ever figure out who had the "paperdave" username on discord? Is it someone who knows you?

no one has it. it's likely reserved for an alt account i made and lost 8+ months ago

what if there were a way to sort tweets by ratio

ratio of what

My location

you're currently inside of the wii sports bowling alley.

Have you ever seen someone that you’d felt like you’d seen before, but you don’t know where and you don’t know when?

all the time, with everyone.

What is the one thing everything is made out of?


What is your name

dave m caruso

Are there any major design flaws present in microwave ovens that you have been able to identify?

i didn't grow up with a microwave and i don't know how to use the one in my apartment. so i can't answer this question.

If aliens exist, they might kill us as per the dark forest hypothesis; but if we are alone in the universe, then if we die, that's it, no more life. Which is more terrifying: the possibility that aliens exist, or the possibility that we are alone in the universe?

i think the latter is the true one because i usually feel alone in my own home. it's not really terrifying to me though, because i've gotten used to it; so the aliens existing would be scarier.

Types of poem

song and spoken

हड़प्पा सभ्यता का विकास कब हुआ

मुझे याद नहीं है

quick, get into the paperdave-copter!

sure, if i can find where it is.

Question 23: Why did you create sports_esportsPhoenix, WRITE! artifact ?

timmy really thought we could win with that idea.

if i were a vegetable what vegetable would i be

idk but you are what you eat so just look at what you are and coerce it to a vegetable.

why does the german like meat? because he's a hamburger!

you're not supposed to send the answer alongside the question. what was the idea of sending a question with an answer. what am i supposed to do. im confused

What is your favourite month and why is it November?

it's not november but im not really sure what it is. maybe it's may, or july, or september

opinions on the letter M?

he's great

what's the biggest fear you have?


Will you fix "Phoenix, WRITE!"/do you even know that it is currently broken? I would search for this as it's probably been asked before but I was really hoping to play the game but the game gets stuck at the "Foddian Game" section and never loads.

oh no

last time i played it that section loaded but if it isn't that's really unfortunate. i'll add this to my endless todo but idk when/if i can get to fixing it. email me with more info on how youre playing the game but i swear it ran fine on the google chrome version 2 years ago.

What is chemical reaction

which one

opinion on bun

favorite job

what is the way the cookie crumbles?

let me check

does "meta quest" or "oculus quest" sound better

oculus quest because meta still sounds like a word more than a hundred billion dollar company.

if everything came from nothing, is that why i feel like nothing?

it's a sign that you should become something.

you are extremely talented!

this is true but i see more room for growth

What inspired you to start coding?

part of it is the fact you can do anything and in a sense that is also a curse. sometimes i feel like i wish i never learned any of this and instead just focused on music/videos instead of dumping literally dozens on months failing to automate certain tasks

How was your journey?

i dont remember. i was very young. i know my dad was into computers and he helped me put together this really cool little mini pc and i then just kept going crazy with it. minecraft was somewhere along the journey. so was hacking my wii. windows batch files too, though now i use a blend between linux and macos.

i kind of just kept picking up different things but doing nothing huge with the skills because i didnt have the skills to make anything huge. or the ideas. and when youre a kid in middle/high school just googling how to use react and webpack in 2016-17 it's just confusing and i didnt really understand and either it's gotten easier or i grew but i started really understanding how the web stuff worked. but i also had very random skills in other places like java and c and so on. i also learned php more in depth than i should have but havent touched that in ???. so on and so forth

idk where im going because im pretending to know exactly what happened in my life. also music and videos happened. also elemental. also that thing with ludwig. also bun.

just kinda, do what you want to do. make sure to survive too. if you're lucky, you'll win the game.

I love your personal site, this q+a idea is awesome!

actually you are awesome

There are always two halves to everything: the half one sees, and the half one doesn't. This is true in any number of dimensions. One's half seen is all too often another's unseen. Or is there more that one doesn't see than that which one does…?

i'm on the side that doesnt see because i don't understand the question

what organ sell for vision pro

the part of my brain that is filled with anxiety

what screensaver do you use


does the one who has the last word get the last laugh?

not necessarily

do you like rap

sometimes. maybe i'll make a rap song sometimes.

how much did cost you

like $500

don't be so hard on yourself. you are good. you are fine.

i needed to hear this. thank you. can you say it again just so i can really internalize it?

your text keeps cutting off

maybe your eyes are not seeing all of the text when in reality it is ri

Is using powershell cruel and unusual punishment or is it a godsend from Microsoft?

it's a mix of both. it's true power goes over my head. i just use javascript/bash to write my scripts.

The secret of the fox is an ancient mystery. Somewhere deep in the woods, I know you're hiding… What is your sound? Will we ever know?

there isn't one sound. it depends on the sitaution. but i say "hi" a lot

can i answer one of your questions


Question 11: Will you be attending the Boston Tea Party? Question 12:


who or what is "the fox"?

i thought we we're all trying to find out what they said

notice me senpai

i will try

what is the bread and butter of a programmer?

cmd.exe and/or /bin/bash and/or bread and butter

would you ever try cmd.exe?

that's where my adventure started actually

do you have a gf?


do you like yams?

when fried

can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? do you think you could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now?

we can try

have you ever considered learning another language? (this is definitely not a plug for toki pona. nope. absolutely not.)


are you consciousness?


why did "why are you using linux?" pop up as the default text even though you are currently using windows?

im confused because i use mac linux and windows as of 2023-05-21

What is not your IQ?


Question 10: What is the most underrated thing ever?

one sided dice

i. love. you.

no you dont

this is a long question:

no it's not

if you are good at making music and 3d videos and songs with random lyrics, why are you a weird person?

these are not mutually exclusive


it was funny

BRO the album SICK man

i'm so glad you enjoyed it. please share your time machine please.

How do I tell whether I'm a cynic or a contrarian?

look on the bottom of your shoe and see if theres a note telling you

What is your IQ?